Whatever is cool with me.

So I’m involved in a paintball league…have been for the past few weeks. It’s a 3 on 3, handicapped league where each team can roster up to 5 players.  Most of the players on the other teams are or have been nationally ranked paintball players. That means we’ve been getting our asses kicked they’re really good at paintball.

I guess I’m impressed with our consistent determination to go out and play against these guys but that still doesn’t make up for getting nothing in the win column. Drive, determination, heart, whatever you wanna call it is no substitute for skill. David and I have at least decided we’re going to go play some extra sessions and try to make up some of the difference in skill although I don’t know how much good it is going to do but I don’t think it can hurt too much unless we get shot all to hell.

The other guys that play on our team keep telling us how pro we look with our gear and I just keep shrugging it off but to some degree they’re right. We’re playing in a league with guys that are just two or three ranks below professional players. We go out there with all the right gear. Tournament level guns, paintball pants, and jerseys that are designed to get paintballs to bounce instead of break and other equipment that at least closes the gap a little bit. The others don’t so much have that but I guess it’s because they’re not into it like us or we needed bodies to fill the team something . I can’t really fault them at all because they mostly there and they’re honestly trying.

Go team!

er…

Go Me!

Yeah, that sounds better.

Finally got around to setting up Facebook updates via Twitter and also importing my site RSS into my Facebook. That means I don’t have to log in all over the internet just to keep up with things.

So, I picked up a job last week. It was just a short gig but it was in production. No, not like manufacturing production I mean like TV production. TV production is the craziest thing I’ve ever been involved with to say the least. I got called up on a Monday asked if I wanted to be a part of this production for a week and said “Sure, no problem.” (more…)

The last month of my life has been more than rough . When left alone with my own thoughts I’ve been trapped in hell. Why? you may ask. Thanks for asking, I’m so glad I can share.

Middle of July, the contract I was employed under was terminated for reasons largely unknown to me. I felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under me. I had started to do a lot of things at work, get into quite a few projects and was even planning what to do after I was done with the first round. I was just confident in what I was doing. It’s probable that my confidence was my downfall, but I seriously doubt it. I was enjoying my work and felt successful enough that we even started looking at houses to buy. I should have known I was headed down the wrong path when house after house we looked at had problems we could just couldn’t deal with causing us to back out of house after house. Shortly after the deal on the last house came to an end, that’s when I lost the job.

I felt like such a failure to myself and my wife. Losing a job isn’t in itself such a problem for me but now I had a responsibility to my wife to take care of her and her needs and I couldn’t do that without a job. The thought of not living up to my responsibilities as a man and as a husband devastated me. For days I didn’t feel like getting out of bed and I still can’t turn off my brain. I thought my world was coming to an end and I still have to go to bed when I’m totally exhausted otherwise I toss and turn for hours. I’m sure normal people don’t take things like this so hard but I’m far from that. I’d quit my job of near 3 years, a job that was stable and paid quite well to take a chance on something new; something I thought was better. It was great while it lasted. Searching for jobs for online for a few weeks turned up little to nothing so I started hitting the streets. I looked to the area factories to apply only to be met with signs on their doors stating they weren’t hiring or weren’t taking applications.

[SARCASM]It’s a good thing we’re not in any kind of recession or anything. What with fuel and food costs steadily rising, a recession or even worse a depression would bring hard times on the entire country! [/SARCASM] (more…)